Every year around the end of December, I get nostalgic. I spend a lot of time reflecting on the past year and contemplating the up coming year. Instead of making a lot of resolutions, try to pick a word to concentrate on. In the past I have chosen challenge and peace. Last year I was not in a good place so picking a New Year word was not a top priority. However, subconsciously I must have picked acquire. I acquired a lot. I acquired a serger that I have not used. I acquired a subscription for Texas Monthly of which I've only read 2 out of 12 issues. I acquired several vintage sewing machines. I acquired books, a lot of books, I acquired a new fangled camera that I love. And lastly I acquired a gym membership.
Now I have analyzed what the heck was I thinking. Was I trying to fill a hole in my heart? Was I trying to put a balm on my depression? Probably, Was it my new ill gotten freedom run amok? I do think my book binge was a result of being able to buy books and not have to sneak them in the house. Some of you may not know Craig became infuriated when I purchased books. In one of his outburst, he tried to force me to throw my books out. As far as the rest of my acquisitions, your guess is as good as mine.
So that brings me to my word of the year. The word that has come to me over and over is achieve. There is so much I want to achieve. I want to achieve better health, a closer walk with God, and being a overall better person. I want to finally achieve skills with my serger and new camera. I want to achieve my goals of creating my home in to a space that I can be proud of, spending more time with my family, writing my blog, and pursuing my volunteer passions. There is so much I want to do. As I thought of my list of things I want to do, I realized one thing was missing that most people seem to want to achieve. That would be balance. I seem to have no desire to achieve balance in my life. Strange isn't it. As I reflect on this, I have come to realize balance to me means giving up something and I can't think of one thing I want to give up. I think living with someone with a chronic illness makes you keenly aware of how short of time we have on this earth. So I feel this need to crash through life in attempt to do it all. I've just got to figure out how.
There you go. My word for the year. I'm smart enough to know I can't achieve anything alone. I am so thankful for the love and support from all of you. Thank you for everything.
Love to all of you,
Susan
